Tibetan Ukranian Mountain Troupe 2nd Book of the Road 1981

2nd Tibetan Book of The Road;

Which details the travails and travels of the Troupe from April- August 1981 , from Greenham Common ,a visit to the Theatre, Smokey Bears picnic ,Avebury Free Festival, Oxford Peace Fair, Strawberry Festival, Stonehenge and Glastonbury .

Part one

Greenham Common CND Rally

Sunday 19th April 1981

The first part of this entree was dictated onto a highly efficient quite small, but impressive all the same dictaphoni by acting pilot T -Phoni and is as follows - thusly ......

Sun 19th April noon .

Day one , on the road. The TUMT finally rolls off from GT Marsh farm ., only three or four hours late , limping slightly in the suspension ... suspension fucked up bus.
Liquid Len is at this very moment manicly trying to wire in 450,000 watts of power into the bus off two batteries, and so the incredible troupe hit the road once more..........

1.25pm.

18 hours later , 4 nervous breakdowns and three tabs of acid, we still have not moved any further from the GT Marsh farm . The bog moves effervescently in our minds as we think of the journey to come .

And so we arrive at Ziggys , only three hours late , to learn that *has arrived . Good god ! Could this be the worst day of our lives. what else could possibly go wrong . I wonder. No AAAARGH , The dog, !!!! the horrible dog is here too, yuurk. How strongly can I make myself known.The revolting , puking , dingleberried little creature is .... coming .,..with us ! The whole idea of this repulsive journey is gradually becoming more and more unlikely. Over and out !

5.45
yes its 5.45 and once again the bus stops at the side of the road for lack of the basic ingredient. Yes , you’ve guessed it - fuel . Will we ever reach this amazing place where they're supposed to to be having a cnd gig ? will it ever happen ?. Will it piss down with rain ? Will the bus blow up ? Will someone stab someone ? All these questions and more might or might not be answered in two or three days if and when we arrive.
thank you .

And so we arrive at Dicks. hours late, covered in diesel, depressed deprived , unstoned and exceedingly pissed off.

After a short stop, in which several gallons of tea were consumed we now continue on our way to Greenham common .

And so eventually we arrive at wot could quite easily be a potential bog. The bus is completely immobilised . URRRGH . So are the people .There is a total lack of people on the site. The Pyramid of last year has shrunk to 18 times its size and appears to be looked after by a completely new set of drongos who are at this moment , wrecking our generator.

EEER um Bleer !
I’d also like to point out as Glenda has so kindly pointed out there is no one here !

And so thusly ended A .P.Phoni’s dictation . The next day dawned , which didn't surprise all of us and after dining pitifully on chapatti's we slung up the marquee despite a force 9 gale and full reverb ! Then we dragged the generator and pushed the bus around a bit , still not very many people here -and built a stall on't side of bus - very blue !

Then suddenly from whence came hundreds and hundreds of people milling around and wanting to buy tea, tepid cross buns and candles .

Ching $$ !!!

The Buzz

Next arrived Perry , Clairabelle , Chris , Mary with respective spawn Jolly dees , pip, pip pips and bless their little hearts d**gs !
By now bands were banding , ont stage and we did some cake walk abouts and juggle things and offered friendly advice to the portaloo queues such as DON'T PANIC ! .
Also business conferences in't bus with Nik Turnip, polytantric and a few token twits - very nice , do come again ! \and so went the afternoon with fun, fun, fun , no to mention the melt down of jenny -rator .

The mass of people went as they came

and now they're all gone .

The marquee came down and we was just about to split when something out the middle of the site caught our blurred eyes. Somefink so fantastic yet so horrific it compelled us to leave the bus and stroll transfixed down towards it . spell bound !

The huge artic with the stage PA was stuck in the mud , the huge bulk wallowing in the dusk, just in the nick of time something clicked ......

Eyes met and heads nodded in affirmation . Hardly anybody noticed the half dozen dark figures casually whistling and stalking back to their bus !
And so we split - heading back to Essex via Moby Dicks via Chris and Mary ‘s , via ziggys and eventually to arrive back at the marshed farm. Right over the edge and into the pit ....

A Night At The Theatre .

Colchester . Friday May 15th .

Three ladies in High Heels were doing a show at the University in Colch and we were going to see them .We decided to take the Beast , so when it was time to go we bundled and off we rumbles , even though Big Simon was halfway through painting our name on the back !

We got there after a pipe and a spliff just in time to get in and park our bums before the show started. The show began, there was very little sound track except the constant whispered delighted muttering s of 'wow' and 'far out' it was a brilliant show .
At half time we supped wine and exchanged observances and pleasantries in the foyer and Toni the Phoni was asked not to please, take photographs .
The show went on , as thrilling as the first half , when Little Simon said ' hueg' and emptied the entire content s of his stomach , via his mouth, onto the floor and the backs of the people in front of him.

But he felt much better for it .
The show was fantastic, very sexist, very heavy in parts, but very entertaining and quite inspiring . We decided it was an excellent night out and a jolly good show , what ?
So off we split down the road back in the Beast , grooving the 8 track with toot well and stone . Black of Gleat March flarm . velly gloovy vely nice .

Smokey Bears picnic.Hyde Park.

May 9th 1981.

This picnic was looked forward to and got excited about it for days before , like its a bit of a prestige job and we all well into freeing the weed , well smoking it anyway , much more than we are into CND or anything else !

So come Saturday morning we all up really early and cramming things into Mikes bus , like all the grub we're taking to sell and bar to sell it from , costumery and props and before we know it we’re off trundle, trundle down the road to London . On the road to London we didn’t run out of the basic ingredient - you guessed it - fuel !. But we had no dope .

Erecting the tent at a Brockwell park event © Janet Thompson

We got to London no hassle and wormed around the streets top where Release hangs out and there met up with LCC , Nik Turnup (once again ) and a few other smokey bears , so then we all bundled off to Hyde Park for said picnic. We got there and drove in -parked where we wanted and got out. Then from whence Pig appeared and says 'hello , hello. hello. whats going on here then ?' so we told them and then they said , 'alright , we'll keep a low profile' . We didn't believe them , but they went away.
So we started getting it all together like the stall and the Stage ( 0f which the bus was an integral part ) and people began to arrive. By the time the first band hit the stage there must have been a thousand people there . We were the only place for tea and food so business boomed . Those of us at not busy at the stall and those of us who were , got in colour and were well on our way to out of it, with usual pratting around and getting laughed at. Its a groovy happening . Indeed a very pleasant afternoon .

The bus ( remember the bus ) being the back of the stage was like 'Stonehenge 80 man' just couldn't get in it for people crammed out the door all smokin, tokin , making gallons of tea and sandwiches and blowing and rapping and loading pipes and skinning up. It was like the only place out of the wind to stick the skins together . But we didn't mind that much.
Perry and Claire showed up with Mary and Merlinoose , so did Pat and Moby Dick and probably a few others - oh yeah Tank ! Far out !

Meanwhile back in reality pig is snouting about the site and trying it on here and there and sometimes going a bit far , like they are trying to stir it up, or fuck knows . We say Pig, please, hie thee hence and split when suddenly

And Pig is in there truncheon first. We is completely surrounded and the horizon is a line of SPG coaches ( they liked that idea then ) and wow , its like electric, edge city , right on the edge, shades of windsor , frightening , we just couldn't do a thing and those that did suffered for it . But suddenly . miraculously, pig backed off - everybody breathes out and we are left to get on with our own thing again -far out . Keeping an eye on us still but Pig knows Edge City too !

Eaton By The Mosquitoes .

Sometime in May :between the 9th and 18th
So here we all are at our Holiday campsite. Eaton by the Mosquitoes to be precise , after all night lunch trek across the country via in the pits. we'd still be there if it wasn't for our pals the AA and once again I must say what a fantastic bunch of lads these yellow clad minions of the bog yellow himself are ! Stay with it boys , we’re rooting for you . In fact we declared the week in Keswick a public holiday in the Tibetan Ukraine in honour of our pals the AA.

Our public holiday began with the preliminary ritual of sinking the busses . We sank the buzz and the lunch bus next to the swimmy hole , while, the beast and the BBB stayed at the other end of the site , content with the evening entertainment and social scene and world peace mission .

To amuse ourselves whilst we are on holiday we erected a stage , using the marquee awning and scaffolding and some complete drongos built a fire on it . Other therapeutic group activities included a paint job for the buzz . For days mountain troupers unleashed their pent up artistic talent all over the buzz and anything within a six foot radius around thereof.

And so did pass the days with sunshine , groovy scenes and a gas of a time was had by all, and now, ahead of us, lies the wold mease pisson , longdrop country and sour valley . oops there goes another lunch bus !

Eaton © Janet Thompson

GTMarsh Farm to Avebury Free festival.

Monday May 18th 11pm

We’re free , free at last from that damp, rotten, festering smelly disease ridden pit in the middle of that rancid scathing bog- yes we've left GT Marsh farm and we're on the road graphic
Here is Acting Pilot Phoni Filament's account of how it passed (courtesy of ancient Tib UK bla, bla, bla, dictaphoni)
" Thang , blang, crackle , sktich , ---- Morning , Monday the 17th or 18th May and so the Tibetanukrainianmountaintroupe finchgabblecracklethang and say goodbye to GT Marsh farm without a tear springing from beneath the eye , as we set out on this strange weird journey with no destination and no money . One wonders how we will manage to survive in this cut and thrust world of the motorway . I think personally , if it wasn't for my pals the AA I'd be worried . Worried? I'd be terrified. Terrified? I'd be fucking shitting bricks . But as it is with the AA relay I know I'll be right . So adieu ".

"And so we set out from GT Marsh farm- Terry Horridge has already split in the Burden and slurb, crackleflarb, cricklesplel hits the road - Troupe on the run . Could this be the most illegal and ridiculously stupid way to spend a lifetime ? I wonder. Maybe all these answers will be questioned and maybe they won’t and who gives a fuck anyway ?"

" And so finally we leave the drive of GT Marsh farm . Terry has pissed off and left Greame without any windscreen wipers and he suddenly does seem to be in a bit of a flap about it. Well this is quite understandable , its been a strain today and I expect that its going to get even more of a strain as the day goes on , but er,I've got to turn a corner now so its a bit difficult to dictate to you.... GRAUNCH ....URGGG.Clunk and we’ve made it, we didn’t even hit the bank , wot about that we've actually"

And thus we rolled down the road, the beast , the burden, the bastard bitching , buggering buzz, buddys hippie van , white van and Bob the Truck , all going as slow as the Beast till now parked somewhere going nowhere at the side of the road waiting for the Lunch bus to intercept , but we've all got first aid kits in marg tubs now so we feel equipped to handle nearly anything .

Note of explanation

Ah yes! the Lunch bus. Not particularly a bus to have lunch on or to be or get lunched on [lunched as in lunched out as in out to lunch],although of course, all of the above took place. No , the Lunch bus was so called because of its tendancy to break down and its general unreliableness. If a bus was known for its generally lunched out occupants we would probably have called it the out to lunch bus or the lunch out bus.

Glenda

Tuesday 19th May 9.00 pm
So here we are again back in the rigours of life on the road , or at least not to it , in a laybye where our team of highly trained mechanics are out there where it counts , flat on their backs . Bruno the lunch burger man says we are scaring off his customers , we don't know what we are doing , where we're going or how we're getting there. We know nothing .

11 pm.

Mystic Tib UK band practice pon yonder hill, experiment new style acoustic reggae and finger licking shit kicking , then tea and tele in Bobs truck.

Wednesday May 20th 8:30 am.
We moved half of our busses to the laybye over the road to keep Bruno happy , but Bruno’s twin brother Bruno the lunch burger man didn't like where we parked the Beast so he rolled up his sleeves and pushed it to the other end of the laybye. - Geez, thanks Bruno !

Later that day. And a special Ambassery of four acting together Tibetan Ukrainians find themselves in Chelmsford with special orders issued by central candle committee to sell the 'singer' and make lots of money busking .
So we get the Singer from the car park where it had been left , drive it round the corner and run out of gas. We are just about to stick a hose in the white van when suddenly from nowhere we are surrounded by flashing blue disco lights , sirens , squad cars and a meat wagon . I had sudden visions of the Alamo and prayed that the Daylight Llama was still with us . Then as suddenly as everything else we all felt the power of the big DL singing within us and we did a number with the pigs, like we played music and juggled at them and laughed and wowee, it worked and the pigs laughed too. They just couldn't be serious about it, like they even transmitted our music back to the station !. It could have been such a heavy scene and it all worked out so groovy , we just drove away .
By this time we'd lunched out selling the Singer so we went off to the shopping centre to busk. After an hour or so we had enough money in the hat to take a couple of very pleasant school girls out for coffee. Then wobble in white van back to the laybye and lunch burger man .

Friday 22nd May: noon .
Finally on Thursday afternoon , after Mac went off to lunch another MOT , the Beast rejected a valve transplant and our telephone box committed hurry curry all over the road , we split the laybye and back on the road. Same as it ever was, and ever shall be , road without end . Amen .
We got split up . down and round and round and round , lunched gearbox triple lunched electrics , lost found , lost again, leaky tyres and haven’t we been here before sometime ?

In search of Avebury
And so once more , eventually , by and by anon and thus for hence we all found each other and of a sort, just about got it together and off we zoomed as fast as a bucket of dead snails across this green and pleasant and wet land until we hit a roundabout at Oxford , went round it a few times and then all peeled off in different directions .
The Beast, with an added advantage of a navigator on board , soon found its way to Moby Dick's , where the Lunch bus already was . Next arrived the white van and within a few shirt hours we were all together again . As soon as this state of togetherness was reached ( as it sometimes is ) was a big rap and how we are going to work this session .We discussed various plans of action and troupe policies until the sun came up , the birds began singing and it was time for the Beast to split and do an advanced scout trip to suss the

And thus , about lunch time , into the stone circle at Avebury rolled the Beast and parked in the free car park . Out we all leapt but tho we looked high and low no free festival did we sees .

Lots of nice skool girls tho ( he , he , he )

STOP PRESS:We have just spotted what could well be two hippies . Could this be it ?. Could this be the Avebury Free Festival, only time will tell . We have no money so we’ve got to do something. Geof and Gofer are out at this very moment doing the foot work , but we know all will be groovy as our great sage and onion the Daylight Llama will blow the smoke in our direction .

May 22nd: 9 pm
The reconnaissance crew have returned and they say they have found the site and its just around the corner . So we just got going around the corner .....

And here we are at the site, Nice site. There's about 10 people. three tents , a Morris Traveller , green grass , trees, sheep, stone circle, confused land owner and the Beast , which appears to be stuck - No traction , oh well somebody put the kettle on !

By and by more people arrived and by the time the pigs showed up there was about 20 of us. The pigs were a bunch of bastards, they just want us out of their area, same as it ever was and now they’re going to wind up the farmer. Half an hour later they are back with the bewildered farmer and a tractor to two out the Beast and any other cars and vans that don’t move out as well. So off we all trundle back to the car park to think about wots happening and blow a few pipes. There seems to be about thirty of us now and its growing all the time and all we need now is a site.
By this time it was getting late and starting to rain, so we decide to move to a site they used in 79 a couple of miles away . Here we go again trundle , down the road, full up with furry freaks and ruck sacks to a a laybye on top of a hill with a copse of trees. By the time we all settled in there is about 50 of us and a free food kitchen , although the site is very bleak and the wind cuts a path wherever it wants . So we put the great pink parachute up as a wind break and send around the free tea, um and get very stoned. Its all groovy as ever and the Beast seems to be central admin offish , but that's groovy as we can file anything under lunch .

Saturday May 23rd 2pm.
News recently arrived of a more sheltered and groovy site down the road in the shadow of Silbury Hill . which is the huge prehistoric man made hill - England’s Great Pyramid ?
So shortly after breakfast , a few pipes and a few more pipes ,we made ready to move.
Most everyone else made off before us , but eventually with a little push off we went , full up and full volume boogie on down the road. We wound gracefully into the new site and parked up on the hard next to the round with a nice little paddock affair behind us a. Lots of good vibes and sunshine flying about , although its still quite a small gathering , but from what we’ve bent old its the most that's ever happened at Avebury and form little Acorns and all that who knows ? . We don’t . But I'll just go and dig a shit pit so the paddock doesn’t get fouled up !

Sunday May 24th 10 am
Alas and woe is me for I did miss out on digging the shit pit as Geoff beat me to it , but alas again for not many had time to admire his handiwork for shortly after we opened up the free tea kitchen in rolled the pigs and told everyone to f off or else ! They being very offensive and scaring everybody off . So every one else is heading off to the next imaginary site . Unfortunately the Beast is going nowhere as our driver is up the pub . So we are just sitting blowing joints and looking at the pigs sitting in their car looking at us waiting for us to disappear, although I’ve told them that we just aren’t that magick ( unless we want to be )
By and by Greame returns and off we boogie fool up and fool vol with Police escort at rear.

Part two link below