Subject: Re: Is Robyn lurking ?

>Dare I ask who is lurking for Robyn, sifting posts and feeding him

>information about threads on fegmaniax?

Allow me to pose a little conjectural organon here (I won't make too much

mess...):

Hitchcock, or,. as us norflunnuners would have you pronounce it, 'itchcock. Break that word in two. Itch. Something that you need to scratch, scrape or grate with your fingernails.

Cock. A male bird.

Put them back together. Grate. Bird. Great Bird? A true Bird's Head? Presumably one that is both filthy and happy.

Now who do we know that goes by a name something like "The great bird"(other than Charlie Parker, that is, and that vertical yellow ant-eater from Sesame Street)

Quod erat demonstratum, or whatever you say. ;)

> website, while Mr. 'Itchcock is generally hostile toward computers.

PS who is "quail", why must he be behind all this?

Thank you

This should really be in the FAQ. This is one of those conspiracy thingies. It is a widely held belief that none of the participants of this list really exist- that we are merely ittum-dittum characters,no, charicatures in an expansive text-only graphic novel by The Great Quail. There is evidence on both sides of this argument, though he does seem to have some ties to Area 51.

Since TGQ (note use of the word "Great" as a middle name) and the mysterious Mark Gloster both have such giant heads and have a proclivity for self-promotion and literary gibberish and mutual admiration, there is some discussion that they are the same person. The other side of that is that TGQ updates his website, spells words correctly, and is attached to the earth with stronger adhesive (at least his posts are,) may not be the same person. Of course, he may have multiple personalities and be responsible for much of the volume of this list. It is really hard to make it all out. This may be one of those AI programs that just generates an automatic response to anything that is sent out, like some of the old Susan Dodge/Terry Marks "carrot-o-matic" and the old grumpy "b+" eb autoresponse programs which used to appear here.

I hope this helps:

- -Mark Gloster

(a really minor character, who thinks he is destined for his own superlative middle name.)

According to Webster's New Collegiate, "quail" - to recoil in dread or terror.

Now the "Great Quail" is something completely different. In this case,

> I think Helen = The Quail

>PS who is "quail", why must he be behind all this?

Oh Dame Percival, Ye Questing Feg, Ye hath found the Holey Quail! I confess to being the Quail. Why must I be behind all this? Well I have a bit of a reputation around here, I suppose. Most of us do: for instance, Eb is the token nay-sayer, Eddie the only living socialist who posts to non-Bragg lists, Bayard *is* Gandalf, Woj runs the list and may or may not exist. . . . and there are many many more. I have been on occasion accused of:

1. Leading a cult

2. Not leading a cult

3. Being a cult

4. Harboring an unreasonable worship of Rush, U2, and the movie "Dune."

5. Being a pigeon with a hankering for taco bell mild suace and owning a Web TV

6. Clogging the List with idiotic postings that have nothing to do with Robyn

7. Being Robyn in disguise

9. Being Billy Bragg in disguise

10. Lying about being Billy Bragg in disguise

11. Posting too much

12. Not posting enough

13. Maintaining Mark Gloster's brain in a secret tank

14. Flirting with the female list members (I would never do that, I assure you. If I wanted to flirt I would post something clever in order to personally welcome you to the Feg List.)

15. Harboring a strange resentment against the number "8"

16. Creating a post from a newbie named Helen Percival, a fictional name if I ever heard one

Subject: Chariots of the Squids

On Wed, 28 Jan 1998, Nick Winkworth wrote:

> There's a sinister plot hatching here...

Hmmm. I am beginning to see the light... "Helen Percival", huh? Let's examine that name...

Percival was the knight (sleeping or otherwise) who wished only to see the Holy Grail (Grail? Quail? coincidence?) in the Arthurian legends. Arthur, buried, reputedly at Winchester (but maybe there's no-one there at all...). Arthur, who was schooled by Merlin - traditionally seen as Welsh! Yes, yes,it's all falling into place... Merlin, who legend has it is still entrapped within a crystal cavern. To him, in a dreamlike state, it might seem like he was in some Glass Hotel.... The Merlin was also the name of the engine of the Spitfire, the plane that during World War II protected Britain from the inventions of one Dr Messerschmidt. King Arthur's sword was called Excalibur - a Latinisation of Caliban - "the shining path" (also a song by Shriekback and a Peruvian revolutionary movement, but I digress). "Helen"... according to my dictonary of first names, that means "The shining one" - verrry close to "the shining path"! Now, "The Shining Ones" is the name of a short story by Arthur C.Clarke about a giant squid, discovered in the Indian Ocean. The most famous discovery of a new species in the Indian Ocean this century was the coelacanth - in most dictionaries that is next to the coelenterate, the larvae of which are called planula!

In the same collection of Arthur C. Clarke stories ("The wind from the sun") is a short story about HG Wells! HG Wells is of course mentioned in the song Victorian Squid. Victorian? YES- - as in Victoria, Australia, a state immediately to the north of Tasmania, which *not coincidentally* sounds like the name of this list! Tasmania CONTAINS WOMBATS! And what is the strait separating Victoria and Tasmania called??? BASS! What more evidence do you need? I bet Helen weighs the same as a duck! Or a quail...

Erich von Dignaniken

PS - ever wondered where all these conspiracy theories come from? And why

Subject: RE:back to Wales, briefly

James blathered:

HG Wells is of course mentioned in the song Victorian Squid. Victorian?

YES- - as in Victoria, Australia, a state immediately to the north of

Tasmania,which *not coincidentally* sounds like the name of this list! Tasmania

CONTAINS WOMBATS!

You are close, but the true Hitchcockian connection comes back in the early ninetieswhen Robyn visited Australia on a so -called promotional tour.Whilst in Adelaide he passed on secret information to a promoter called Vic, now by an astounding coincidence Vic's name does not contain a single similar letter as the word REG.! If you cast back your minds to that memorable post by Dolph, where he talks about RH's so called fixation with Reg Dwight, otherwise known as Elton John.Now consider, although there is no visable similarity between the names Vic and Reg,they both are THREE LETTERS LONG !!!!!!!!, see the fiendish connection? Theres more convincing proof,whilst staying with Vic Robyn passed on to me details of the annexation of Wisconsin in code during his acoustic gig at Big Star records , which I did not attend!

However, a few months later, I talk to Vic in Bigstar and record him some Little feat boots, he doesn't hand on the details of the plot!!!But ,theres still more . Another five years later my friend Ian meets Vic at a kindergarden function, discovers he runs Bigstar and trades with him, he does not introduce me to Vic. Another year later I join the feglist , read Robins coded message to me on the list disguised as the 12 Bar club post, totally fail to see its significance because I am not even aware of the existance of a code, let alone able to read the code which Robyn had not passed on to me at the Big star gig which I did not attend in the early nineties and I STILL do not meet Vic. However, I do record him some RH tapes and Ian tells me about how Vic met Robin. I have a brainwave, realise Robyn was talking to me in code all those years ago, Iisten to a tape of the show, suss out the code and am about to put the dastardly Welsh plan to turn the entire global population of cheese eaters into Welshmen into train when I realise our plan is scuppered because some crucial details have have been posted on the Fegmaniax list !!!!!!

Also , my daughter and I have recently been singing the Old trout mask replica refrain" A squid eating dough through a polyetheline bag, etc, and james mentioned squids !! so it all dovetails pretty neatly I think

Its all quite simple really when you reason it out.

On Sun, 1 Feb 1998, dlang wrote:

> I have a brainwave, realise Robyn was talking to me in code all those years ago, Iisten to a tape of >the show, suss out the code and am about to put the dastardly Welsh plan to turn the entire >globalpopulation of cheese eaters into Welshmen into train when i realise our plan is scuppered >because some crucial details have have been posted on the Fegmaniax list !!!!!!

Hrrm. I guess that explains why I don't speak Welsh and haven't known anyone who does... I very rarely eat cheese.

Damn, this is making sense.

It is I, Dr. Fane, expert in Internet cults and bane to all manifestation of Evil Feggery. I am forced again to write again to your List. I fear that our collective inquiries have come up with some pretty grim information about a conspiracy tying together the evil one known as the Quail, Robyn Hitchcock,the god Thoth, the perfidious Welsh, the Holy Grail, etc . . . .

In short, I fear that as the Millenium approaches, the plans of the Fegs may be soon upon us. I know that some of you are not yet converts to this new cult, so I hope to reach you. I wish to explain to you that the Fegs are actually a cover for an ancient order of mystics who plan to take over the world . . . . Already many of you have grasped some of the horrible details of this terrible plot. The Welsh connection, the Victorian Squid, the Holy Grail -- all are true. But it goes deeper than even that, all the way back to the first civilizations:

Listen. I am here to reveal my most horrible researches.

There are some who say that the whole history of science, philosophy and religion is actually a single, unified process moving secretly towards one solitary aim. Of course, the mind of man is so small in comparison, that we can only grasp a little bit of it - and even then we fail to see the BIG PICTURE, seeing only instead fragments that we label erroneously - and so often foolishly - in fractious compartmentalized boxes, insouciantly calling one aspect of Reality "Christianity" and another "Biology;" one fragment of Reality is called "Another fucking No-Robyn Thread," and another "Quantum Chromodynamics," and so on. You get the point.

Well, there are also those who claim that this whole glacial momentum has been secretly controlled throughout the years by a small cabal of illuminated ones, often claiming to receive their directions from God, the "Secret Masters," "Woj," or even the spirit of "Scientific Inquiry." Well, if one takes the time and effort to pry into the secret nature of history, a few things become more clear, including the method of transfer of the divine Logos, the Gnosis of the ancients, that Secret Message and Ineffable Knowledge which will one day end the world and bring us all under the so-called "beneficial" boot of these cultists. . . .

T o begin, let us examine their use of the Thoth Head in their communications, symbology, and rituals. I have often heard them accused of being an evil cult, and even *I* used to accept their glib answer. "Oh, no, not us! Thoth is a Happy God! He's the God of knowledge, of wisdom -- of cute and fuzzy things, like bunnies, wombats, and smelly old books with leather bindings. If we wanted to be evil, we would have choses Set -- Sutekh -- the evil God, He Who is Guarded by Two Quails. . . yesssss, quails are bad . . . . " And so on.

Well, my recent researches have uncovered some rather startling information:

First of all, it is true that "Sutekh" was supposedly guarded by a pair of quails. This is a matter of archeological record - but what is less known is that in ancient Egyptian, the heirogylphs were written in not only a way that was pictographic, but one that omitted vowel sounds. The oldest fragment of stone that comes to us from the Yoggo-Suth-Thot dynasty is remarkable in the fact that it predates all the others - and instead of showing Sutekh as being guarded by two quails, it shows a similar god *with a quail in either hand* and the incription is clearly indicative that the name of this God was actually THT-STKH. There is no mention of any individual "Thoth" or "Sutekh" anywhere . . . . Now, of course in the later Egyptian period these symbols were debased, and suddenly this Thoth and Sutekh make an appearance as two separate entities instead of one God (Needing, of course, the concept of Osiris to evolve in order to provide for a corrective, reunifying force) but it is clear for those who care to see that the original concept of "Thoth" and "Set" derives from a single deity who therefore stood for BOTH Knowledge and Evil . . . with the GOOD QUAIL in his right hand and the EVIL QUAIL in his left. In other words, THOTH is just a reformulation of the older quail-god. . . . . and that famed Ibis head? Well, interestingly enough the scientist who first labeled the bird as an "Ibis" was Gwll Rhys-Llewellyn Ap Rhwpyn Ych-ggwk, a *welsh* anthropologist who IGNORED his native Egyptian assistance, who claimed the head was actually that of a "Eb-F'gg," a mythological bird with a strange feather on his head, and not the "Eb-lis." Hmmm. . . . What was he trying to hide? And a quick trace of his ancenstry shows that shortly after his discovery, this Welshman relocated to England and changed his name from Ych-ggwk to something more Anglo -- yes, you guessed it. . . . An ancestor? (Look at the evidence, man! Alfred with "The Birds" -- perhaps a sly warning? Robyn with the Thoth thingie? And let's not forget that RH/TGQ thread a while back. . . .)

It gets worse: if one accepts the Thor Heimdall hypothesis that the ancient Egyptians actually colonized Meso-America, one can even see their influence in the "Aztec" god -- an obvious foreign replantation of the god THT-STKH -- named "Huitzilipochtli," which according to Classical Nuat'l means "Left Hand like a Hummingbird;" but since Moctezuma actually thought Cortez was Quetzocoatl, it can easily be said that the ancient Aztecs didn't exactly have their shit together. They probably corrupted the older word "Quitzilipochtli," which means "Left Hand Holding a Quail" - -- Where the other quail is remains unknown. . . . but it should be noted that the Aztec word for "Disaster" is "Quitzilicoatilipukkalaguppie," which means "Damn, that other bird sure is in a hurry to get the f**k out of here." By an odd "coincidence" the Welsh word for disaster is the SAME thing, just spelled "Gwchyllichwtyllipwchyllagwppi," but it is usually translated as "Hey! I have an idea -- let's invite our neighbors, the English, over as guests." (I turn you to the excellent "Comparative Study of Manx, Welsh, and Pennsylvania Dutch Language and Mythologies" by Nicholas Wynccwrrth, 1943.)

Well, back to the ancient Egyptians:

Now, interestingly enough, if we actually combine the two ideographs for Tht and StKH, we get Th-t-S-t-KH, which sounds very much like the Babylonian word "Thyt'stokh," which of course was the most ancient word recorded for "Small ground-dwelling bird with a little feather on top that comes to us from the sky and validates our self-esteem with much of knowledge, but if we misuse it we decend into a negative shame spiral of guilt and evil." (Dr. Marcus "Wolfgang" Glosterhammer, 1936. I refer you to his seminal work "Der Gummi Haifisch," which has been recently collected in a single volume along with his famous treatise, "Did the Dinosaurs Smoke Dried-up Mammals?") And I wouldn't insult your intelligence by reminding you that civilizations started along the Tigres and Euphrates rivers, so this stuff has been with us for a loooong time.

So there are the Babylonian and Egyptain roots for the divine Plan: What about further South? Well:

The original word for "Eden" in the ancient Semitic tongue of the Hebrews was actually "Vida," hence the real Hebrew phrase for the first home of Adam and Eve being "Gadda da Vida," which *could* be a corruption of the Chaldean phrase "Ghodhavhidha," meaning "The Primal Nest of the Bird with the Stupid Feather-Thing." Similarly, the Qabbalistic symbol representing the divine spark of Knowledge as decending from God to Man is a sperm-like drop called "Yod," a letter in their alphabet which is shaped very much like a quail feather and was called by the first Qabbalists "FEHG," after the original Phoenician name of the linguistic character. (Its original form was a tick-mark, used to denote how many times a Phoenician sailor got laid in port.) As a matter of fact, the only reason the Rabbis and Qabbalists (And need I elaborate on the origins of *that* name?) changed its name was under pressure from the Notarikon and Gemmatrics lobby, who wanted to make the Hebrew alphabet completely convertable to a crackpot system of numerology to confuse future Templars. (Not to mention purge it of all Phoenician resonances, because many of these Rabbis were getting quite tired of their daughters running away with sailors.)

So the FEHG represents the Divine Spark, and the original Duality comes from the Twin Quails in the hands of a nameless diety, itself a sundering of the original Babylonian concept of Godhead. This discovered in the records by a Welshman who changes his name to Hitchcock and engenders a line of bird-fixated cultists. . . .

Hmmm? Is anyone scared yet?

More:

Read your Bible! I specifically refer to Exodus 16:13, where the nature of the divine gift is made all too clear. (Go on, get your Bibles. I know you all have one laying around somewhere - or ask LSDiamond to borrow hers.) - Unfortunately, the early Hebrew scribes confused the Aramaic and the Egyptian word "manna" which actually means "Fehg-ma," in Egyptian - - Or "Gift of the Feather," and I suppose you can figure the rest out.

Also - turn if you will to Numbers 11:32 for further enlightenment.

And here's a good one - the divine Apple, so munched on by Eve that represented Knowledge of Good and Evil? Well, in the original "Q" version of the story - edited out in favour of the "J" source for that part of Genesis, I am not kidding, study the Bible historically - the word for "apple," like all Hebrew words, has no vowels; and is written in consonants only: the vowels are enunciated or added given the context of each word. Well, the word for "Apple" IS EXACTLY THE SAME as the word for PARTRIDGE, except for the vowels! Now, how much sense would a "Partridge" from a tree have made? So of course the scribes just assumed it was an apple, which made more sense - unless, of course, you know the real thread running through this whole creation gig here. And of course, the "Partridge in a Pear Tree" song came from a European corruption of a Qabbalistic mnemonic, a repetition of the steps in creating the universe which undoubtedly got into the wrong hands and was changed to a "Chrismas Carol," yet something else the Europeans did to further irk the Jews, like burning them for usury and making fun of their little hair curls.

The Qabbalistic mnemonic refrain was, of course, "On the First Day of the Fall, My Eve Gave To Me, A Partridge From A Bare Tree," which of course is called in the ORIGINAL Hebrew "In A Gadda Da Vida."

--Professor Fane

Subject: Re : Quailspiracy

I read Dr Fanes post with a great deal of trepidation and dread, indeed, the conspiracy has gone even further than I thought and the macheavelian machinations of the cultists overide even my own misguided part in the fiendish Welsh cheese board plans to dominate the Southern hemisphere. The implications of the good doctors revelations, ifcorrect ,are not merely terrestial but have cosmic, nay galactic implications.

However, investigations in the antipodean sphere by ancient historians connected to Monash University have led to further byzantine and Lovecraftian twists to this most labyrinthine and insideous plot . It appears that the origins of this whole ferago may go back over 40,000 years to the dawn of mankind in the most far flung depths of primeval Gondwanaland, even beyond, (as Dr fane stated), the earliest civilisations..

Recent excavations in the South Australian hinterland have led to discoveries of eldrich and sinister cults amongst some of the original Australian aborigines. In general ,the aboriginals have co-existed peacefully and at harmony with the biosphere and their dream time legends picture mostly benign but powerful spirits of the land and elements.However, there now appears to be evidence that there wasamongst them a group that worshipped a specific giant bird god, of which they lived in great fear and loathing . It was long speculated that this bird godwas probably an Emu or Cassowarry, but the excavations carried out by Professor Occer and his team of experts indicate that this was not the case.In an ancient cave on the Nullabour plain they stumbled on the remains of aunique artifact, a giant statue of a bird, some five cubits in height ,largely intact and carbon dated at being over 38, 500 years old!

Further investigation showed that the bird god bore a marked resemblance to a giant quail.Now there are no known instances of quails being found in Australia, so this poses the question, how could aboriginals be worshipping a bird which does not exist in this continent ?and since Aborigines have never constructed stone statues,why had they gone to the trouble to create this megalith in acave in the far corner of the benighted plain ? Interestingly , prof Occer found that the statue of the Giant Quail was not unknown to the local contemporary indigenous population. They shunned it as the evil one ,calling it "yunnamangulagungannnagubbaggul" which translates into "great fearful bird thingy ".

Not conclusive proof I hear you say, but here the key word is FEARFUL. Collins English dictionary defines quail as " to shrink back with fear,to cower". Obviously the legend of the great fearful bird thing was so strong that it has persisted over nearly 40.000 years and the locals instinctively cower and avoid its shadow, which is reputed to turn anyone who falls within its pall into a giant mutant tree sloth. More worrying than this bizarre fancy is the fact that a stone plinth was discovered beneath the fallen statue. Much of its inscription was illegible, but the remnant hiroglyphics formed the letters t-S-t-KH, only one short step from prof Fanes babylonian "Thyt'stokh," the word that described the Small ground-dwelling birdwith a little feather on top that comes to us from the sky and validates our self-esteem with much of knowledge, but if we misuse it we decend into a negative shame spiral of guilt and evil." Coincidence ? I don't think so .

More recently the Australian media reported that the remains of a giant sea monster were washed up on a Tasmanian beach, some thought it whale blubber, but others speculated that it was the remains of a GIANT SQUID. The Victorian squid revisited? Bass Strait is only a few hundred miles from Victoria. Perhaps a far fetched conclusion but bear in mind that there is a branch of marine biologists , known as the"Squidologists" who believe that the squid is the direct geneolgical ancestor of the bird, and as I quote from their pamphlet " A treatease on the amorphology of non vertebrates " published in the "Squidologistic digest "Feb 1943 -

" It would not be innacurate to postulate that the nearest livingrelative of the Squid is the Quail,closely followed by the Kiwi."