Utterly aghast, I pondered the true depths and distances of the

Quailspiracy - that it seems to have wormed its feathery tendrils into the very heart of

I'm glad to see other fegs at last coming around to my way of thinking Nat, I am now able to induct you into the ranks of the "Friends of Feg" a select group of incorruptable fegs sworn to fight the forces of Quaildom wherever they raise their ugly heads. Your glow in the dark Feg badge, teensy wrap round eyemask ,irridescent body stocking and superfeg jocks will be set to you via courier pronto.Wear them in the privacy of your own home whilst thinking anti Quail thoughts and listening to your fave Robyn trax nightly and you will remain strong against the Incipent Quailcoming that draws nigh as we race to the start of the next millenium.

I also realise that i have been pranked into responding to an ersatz quail message last week, his fiendishness actually had the affrontery to e mail me holographiclally from 37.000 feet from his executive lear jet ( paid for no doubt by his fiendish co-conspirators the naughty Chinese communists ). He appeared in front of me as I was boning up on my priceless copy of "J .Edgar Hoover's pinko subversive black list" .

Wearing nothing but his leather ankle length coat,jackboots and matching codpiece he proceeded to rub my nose into the fact that I had been seen to get mud on my face by the entire feglist . He cackled mercilessly at me and disappeared in a cloud of Quail dust , which set off my sinus's something rotten. I went into a bizarre coughing fit which led to my getting mucus all over J Edgar's coverpiece. The swine!

Nat, remain strong and we may yet overcome the misguided Quail , save him from himself and lead him back to the true path of fegdom, but we must present a united front if we are prevail. With this in mind, watch out for the secret fegcode which I will send you so you may read between the lines and decipher the cryptic Fegfriend messages I will send thee in the near future.